

And yet I do not consider myself a hypocrite, for man has a dual nature. No one could guess what degrading things I have done secretly, things which I must say in all honesty, I enjoyed very much. All these years, the public has seen only a veneer of my real self. Now, years later, I realize that my life has been an admirable one, but it has certainly been a fraudulent one.

For that reason, I willfully decided to conceal all my pleasures. I preferred to present an unchanging seriousness to the public. Other people admired my light-hearted good nature, but personally, I was annoyed by it. If I had any single, serious flaw, it was that I was perhaps inclined to be a bit too spirited. I seemed to be guaranteed an honorable and distinguished future. I was born to a wealthy family and, after a good education, I gained the respect of all who knew me.
