My brave savior in the mountains withered in the urban jungle. The greatest challenge was that Justin grew unhappy. What were the challenges of transitioning your relationship with Justin from one on the trail to a more “normal” life with bills to pay, a social life to manage, etc.? (The turquoise walls of my place are a blueish haven, almost a character.) The cover of the book also illustrates this reality: some people see only New York’s skyline, and others see only the trees.Ĭhoosing the title, I was also thinking of the color blue’s association with sadness - your sadness is not my sadness - and the individualistic nature of depression.įinally, the book is very visual, a wide range of distinct shades of blue described throughout. Your Blue Is Not My Blue alludes to perspective - how every person has her/his own particular view, each one unique. What is the significance of choosing this as the title of the book? The phrase “your blue is not my blue” comes from a conversation you had with Justin.
In this way, loss is the shocking catalyst of transformation. Because in the wake of devastation, growth becomes the only survival option. How in grief, we find a new view - a fresh perspective, which organically generates fresh expansion: personal revolution.
How, when a relationship sours or devolves, we are all always innocent in the stories that we tell about its fate.Īnd how are Girl in the Woods and Your Blue Is Not My Blue similar?īoth memoirs hope to show how the broken are thrust into a landscape of muted color, forced to discover the nature of their shadow - the part of oneself that is unknown. Your Blue Is Not My Blue, by contrast, is ultimately about the seductive appeal of playing the victim. Girl in the Woods’ greatest ambition is to inspire women to see that a sexual assault need not be the end of their lives - rather, the beginning of something bigger: a passageway to facing buried pain, and to finding a voice, a greater purpose. People occasionally ask me if I’m old enough to be writing memoirs, and this question always brings to mind Leslie Jamison’s thoughtful words, “It seems silly to pretend that nothing meaningful happens to the young.”ĭo people have to read Girl in the Woods to understand Your Blue Is Not My Blue? How do the two books differ in message?ĭefinitely not! Your Blue Is Not My Blue stands alone as a distinct work, and you won’t be “missing something” vital if you choose to read it first. Ultimately, my hope for both books is that they aid people who are struggling (in the disorienting wake of heartbreak, violence, assault, loss, or divorce…) and steer them toward a new clarity. What do you think readers can learn from your experiences, especially being so young? You recently turned 30 and have written two memoirs already.
Aspen Matis, author, “Your Blue Is Not My Blue”
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